NOS4A2 is coming to AMC in 2019. Climb on in… the engine is running.

I’ve got an LP out in just ten days!

That was a weird sentence to write, but it appears to be true. The audiobook of my short story, Dark Carousel, will soon be available on vinyl record. Nate Corddry read the thing and rocknrolla Matthew Ryan recorded a version of the Rolling Stones classic “Wild Horses” to provide some mood music to go along with it. Eventually “Dark Carousel” will be available as an audio download… but if you want to hear Matt’s haunting, unforgettable cover, you’ll have to pick up the disc, cos that’s a vinyl exclusive.

I’m doing a single event, on April 25th, here in Exeter, Hew Hampshire, to pimp the release. I’ll read a bit of the story myself, and we’ll have some music for you, from local songsmith David Drouin. A gifted New Hampshire painter, Bruce Jones, will be working on a “Dark Carousel” inspired piece while we listen to the vinyl and I scribble my name on your record sleeves. Come on, admit it, sounds like fun. All the details are here.

Can’t get there? You can still get a signed copy of the LP from Water Street Books, the trusty local bookslingers who have always had my back. They ship pretty much everywhere. Koffkoff, they’ve got signed copies of Strange Weather, too.

I love the idea of burrowing onto your shelf of LPs, right between your copy of George Harrison’s All Things Must Pass and the Hollies Greatest Hits. Dream come true, man.
MINT: A GAME

So I had an idea for a game. Here it is.

The object is to find coins that were minted before your birth. So, for example, I was born in 1972. If I find a penny that was minted in 1970, I get 100 points.

The scoring is not complicated, but does vary based on age.

PENNIES

Age
0 – 20: 10 points
20 – 50: 100 points
50 – 80: 1000 points
If you’re over 80, don’t play the game… if you find a coin from before you were born, take it to a rare coins dealer and make some bank. Seriously, a 1935 Wheatback penny is worth $5, which isn’t chump change, y’know?

NICKELS

Age
0 – 20: 50 points
20 – 50: 500 points
50 – 80: wwwwwwaiiiit a minute, do I really need to continue explaining? You get it, right? Nickels are multiples of 5, dimes are multiples of 10, quarters are multiples of 25.

Maybe it’s best to stick with simple examples. I’m 45 years old. If I sort through the change in my pockets, and find a 1970 penny, and a 1957 quarter, I made 350 points. They’d only be 35 points, though, if you’re an 18 year old. Sorry, kiddo. On the other hand, if you were born in 1960, you’d be looking at 2500 points for that quarter… and jack for the penny. If you were born in 1950, you’d get nothing!

The object is to play until you get 10,000 points, which is when you win the prize. The prize is whatever you decide it should be; I buy myself a new comic that I’ve been meaning to try.

Note: the 10,000 point goal is the winning score no matter *what* your age. That’s the only part of the scoring system that doesn’t slide one way or another, depending on whether you’re a boomer or a millennial. Because if you’re ten years old, most of the coins in your pocket are going to date to before your year of birth. With that in mind, it’s obvious you should need to collect a lot of change to make 10,000. Whereas if you’re 67, and you come across a nickel from 1949, daaaaamn, you deserve them 5,000 points. It will be so rare to score, it should really matter when you do.

There, I gave you a new way to stay entertained when you’re stuck somewhere with nothing but the sliver in your pocket. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

4 Kids Walk Into A Bank. You’ll be glad you did.
I don’t know if that’s all the news that’s fit to print, but it IS all the news I got today. Big thanks to my compadre Gabriel Rodriguez, who created that illustration of Charlie Manx and his Rolls-Royce for Wraith issue #1, and hastily tweaked it to celebrate the news. Aside from being a genius, Gabe is a very good friend.

I hope you’re hanging in there and reading some good stuff and looking after your loved ones best you can; I hope your loved ones are looking after you, too. I’ll be blabbing more of my nonsense at you soon. Stay cool.